Did You Notice

the dissatisfaction 

that coloured my cheeks 

under the fluorescent lights? 

Your friends, 

affable and animated, 

recast you as a performer 

trialling timing 

until each step you took 

gleamed under the spotlight. 

It wasn’t your fault 

but I couldn’t help shrinking 

into my cardigan, 

relegated 

to a back row of the theatre 

watching the crowds react 

to each remark, 

watching 

for the first time 

your second self protrude, 

wondering, 

how you could exist 

as a card with two faces, 

if I had stifled you 

in my quest to alleviate. 

A pitiful creature 

at the back of my enclosure, 

I burrowed deeper 

into my skin, striking 

nerves like arteries, 

feeling my temperature rising. 

Did you notice how the colour collected? Dampening my pallid complexion like a shirt 

put through the wrong cycle, 

stained by negligence 

instead of use. 

Was it concern 

or some loss of revenue 

that made you follow me 

into my room, 

crawl into my bed 

and wait?